Daily Devotional by Rick Warren from Purpose Driven Connection
... That you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:20 (NIV)
The birth of Jesus reflects the truth that love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.
Today we've bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it's something that just happens to us; it's not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, "I fell in love," as if love is some kind of a ditch. It's like I'm walking along one day and bam! - I fell in love. I couldn't help myself.
But I have to tell you the truth - that's not love. Love doesn't just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.
There's no doubt about it, attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.
You must choose to love God; he won't force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won't force you to love him. Because he knows love can't be forced.
And this same principle is true about your relationships: you can choose to love others, but God won't force you to love anyone.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
5 Considerations Before You Say "I Love You"
What is love? Maybe you should ask Seal. The singer of Kiss from A Rose is starting to date Heidi Klum, an international top model since she was pregnant her first daughter, Leni. The biologist father of Leni is the Formula One's boss, Flavio Briatore never involved in Leni's life. Although Seal and Heidi have their own child, Henry, Seal always treats Leni as his own daughter.
So sweeeet... maybe that what will you say. In order to accept our couples completely, surely we need a deep understanding about the real concept of love. There are few things you need to consider before you say "I love you", such as:
Who is saying it first?
Now days, woman can also state her feelings to the man she likes. This is better than keeping it to yourself until one day he gets married with other woman. There is nothing wrong to say love first. However, make sure that he has the same feeling. There is nothing more disappointing than realizing that the man who close with you all this time actually don't have special feeling for you. If you not brave enough to say what you feel, it's okay, just give him signals that you likes him.
Are you really love him?
Try to remember, is there any friends, family, or yourself, who ever say "I love you" to their couples? Not really. You must be used to say "I love you" because you often hear it from movies, and it sounds so sweet. On the other hand, man also using this magic words to manipulate. For example, when you get upset because of his behavior, he says the words to melt your heart or to prevent you to leave him after you know he has an affair. Often times, people don't realize that they are being manipulative. Therefore, say the words when you really mean it.
Spontaneous or Planned?
The best way to say "I love you" is letting it grow in your heart, and spontaneously say it when you feel so passionate. You can suddenly say it as a surprise, or create a memorable moment. However, indeed, you should think longer when you want to say it for the first time. This will make you unconsiously planned when you should say it. Hmm rather confusing. Maybe spontaneous more exciting.
Is this the right time?
Heart beating because you want to say your feeling sometimes can ruin the situation. If you say it when your relationship is in the air, maybe there will be no problems. In fact, it will make him smile the whole day. However, a lot of men like casual relationship, so the words "I love you" can makes him worried. He might feel you are too fast to say it and he might think that you pressure him to marry you. You can fix what you have said, but he will still remember it.
This is an article from http://female.kompas.com
So sweeeet... maybe that what will you say. In order to accept our couples completely, surely we need a deep understanding about the real concept of love. There are few things you need to consider before you say "I love you", such as:
Who is saying it first?
Now days, woman can also state her feelings to the man she likes. This is better than keeping it to yourself until one day he gets married with other woman. There is nothing wrong to say love first. However, make sure that he has the same feeling. There is nothing more disappointing than realizing that the man who close with you all this time actually don't have special feeling for you. If you not brave enough to say what you feel, it's okay, just give him signals that you likes him.
Are you really love him?
Try to remember, is there any friends, family, or yourself, who ever say "I love you" to their couples? Not really. You must be used to say "I love you" because you often hear it from movies, and it sounds so sweet. On the other hand, man also using this magic words to manipulate. For example, when you get upset because of his behavior, he says the words to melt your heart or to prevent you to leave him after you know he has an affair. Often times, people don't realize that they are being manipulative. Therefore, say the words when you really mean it.
Spontaneous or Planned?
The best way to say "I love you" is letting it grow in your heart, and spontaneously say it when you feel so passionate. You can suddenly say it as a surprise, or create a memorable moment. However, indeed, you should think longer when you want to say it for the first time. This will make you unconsiously planned when you should say it. Hmm rather confusing. Maybe spontaneous more exciting.
Is this the right time?
Heart beating because you want to say your feeling sometimes can ruin the situation. If you say it when your relationship is in the air, maybe there will be no problems. In fact, it will make him smile the whole day. However, a lot of men like casual relationship, so the words "I love you" can makes him worried. He might feel you are too fast to say it and he might think that you pressure him to marry you. You can fix what you have said, but he will still remember it.
Is it better to show it or say it?
Actions speak louder than words. A lot of couples, especially men, are not prioritize sweet words. The important thing, he can shows by what he do that he is really love you. If you compare your love to your family, maybe you never said "Love you, pa...", but you surely go home quickly when your father is lonely at home.
Realizing that there is someone who always be there when you need him will have a stronger meaning rather than hearing those theree words. It doesn't mean you have to forbid yourself in saying "I love you", but it will be more meaningful when you show it through your actions.
This is an article from http://female.kompas.com
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